I dont know!!! This phrase is the one that rhetorically squanders inside my mind. I dont know. I dont know how things are going to turn. I dont know what I am feeling like. I dont know what I really want. But, all I know is that I am missing something. Something that is so close to me, something/someone I love so much. I dont know who or what it could be. But all I know is that I am missing it. Missing it seriously bad.
I dont like myself to be lurking in an all bad, down and low shades. I hate to see myself down trodden in the shades of murk. I hate myself when I am doing bad. I want to rise up and against the tides of low. I dont like to get under the ebb but over it is my way.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Unforeseen Journey
Well, it all started some 3 years back from now. Never did I thought I would land up in this land of culmination of cultures. May be, you can call it as the "influence" which has brought me here, but frankly speaking never did this thought come across me since am a kid(an able one :) ) . Then I thought..well...This is life...not all the things happen with our prior knowledge somethings do happen with in-time or really on-time.
Then, the journey started from High-Derabad to the Land of Dreams (as famously called, even now I had to check for the American spelling of the word famous, but it stays the same as the Britain one. Wonder why ? ) I was there, bidding final byes to my most dearest ones on earth. Sometimes you just dont really understand what is happening around you... That day was some of those "Sometimes". Tears kept afloat, with spirits all low, words tottering, and ofcourse mind filled with a haze and daze of million thoughts, the strongest of which asked me shut the f*** up and stay back in my India and the meekest one perhaps the most feeble one asking me to stick to my limitations. As always, life is about compromise(I dont really agree upon this, but at times this seems very inevitable to me) quote wandered through and the feeblest of all won the board and there I was boarding the Jumbo Emirates flight from Hi-Derabad to Duuu(r)-bai with those mixed feelings still hurting.
All it takes is good company to keep yourself engaged in good spirits is what I believe. Well, I was self-compassionate in this aspect. And that good company made me or rather took me from being jerky to a lil' jerky. As the 16hour flight was on air, my thoughts competed with the speed of the flying machine. Instead to get lost in the potentially aimless thoughts, I choose to indulge myself. That was good of me in being able to do that. Atlast, the tiresome journey has ended with a glimpse of lush green land and a straight never ending runway. Well, I was in Hou(w)ston. It took me just 20hours to reach from one H to another H, but I was quite sure that it is going to take me more than that time to understand the current H to the other H.
As always, first day (night to be accurate) is the hardest to surpass, with the range of thoughts multifolding every other minute which manged to gain a voice and scream "What the hell am I doing here, away from everything I have". But soon, these thoughts became gentle and finally slipped when I slipped into a nap (Surprisngly, I seem to be affected almost nought with the general nuances that everyone seems to be occupied with. That night, I could sleep really well and sound as always, countering the Lag Time).
End of Day1(12 Hours to be appropriate)
To Be Continued.....
Then, the journey started from High-Derabad to the Land of Dreams (as famously called, even now I had to check for the American spelling of the word famous, but it stays the same as the Britain one. Wonder why ? ) I was there, bidding final byes to my most dearest ones on earth. Sometimes you just dont really understand what is happening around you... That day was some of those "Sometimes". Tears kept afloat, with spirits all low, words tottering, and ofcourse mind filled with a haze and daze of million thoughts, the strongest of which asked me shut the f*** up and stay back in my India and the meekest one perhaps the most feeble one asking me to stick to my limitations. As always, life is about compromise(I dont really agree upon this, but at times this seems very inevitable to me) quote wandered through and the feeblest of all won the board and there I was boarding the Jumbo Emirates flight from Hi-Derabad to Duuu(r)-bai with those mixed feelings still hurting.
All it takes is good company to keep yourself engaged in good spirits is what I believe. Well, I was self-compassionate in this aspect. And that good company made me or rather took me from being jerky to a lil' jerky. As the 16hour flight was on air, my thoughts competed with the speed of the flying machine. Instead to get lost in the potentially aimless thoughts, I choose to indulge myself. That was good of me in being able to do that. Atlast, the tiresome journey has ended with a glimpse of lush green land and a straight never ending runway. Well, I was in Hou(w)ston. It took me just 20hours to reach from one H to another H, but I was quite sure that it is going to take me more than that time to understand the current H to the other H.
As always, first day (night to be accurate) is the hardest to surpass, with the range of thoughts multifolding every other minute which manged to gain a voice and scream "What the hell am I doing here, away from everything I have". But soon, these thoughts became gentle and finally slipped when I slipped into a nap (Surprisngly, I seem to be affected almost nought with the general nuances that everyone seems to be occupied with. That night, I could sleep really well and sound as always, countering the Lag Time).
End of Day1(12 Hours to be appropriate)
To Be Continued.....
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